True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
