I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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