we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.