Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

(1-775): View more from Nevada

A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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(775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp

Replies (16) Good night (1548) Bad night (2335) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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(585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0

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(347): View more from New York

apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.

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(347): apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road. http://tfl.nu/bhjm

Replies (56) Good night (730) Bad night (4727) Order T-Shirt
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(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

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(469): You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that. http://tfl.nu/9raa

Replies (12) Good night (5428) Bad night (621)
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(516): View more from New York

Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?

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(516): Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21? http://tfl.nu/nv55

Replies (6) Good night (3950) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.

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(904): I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/n34k

Replies (6) Good night (3184) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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(256): View more from Alabama

I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

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(256): I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means. http://tfl.nu/u00p

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(706): View more from Georgia

saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal

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(706): saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal http://tfl.nu/ml27

Replies (11) Good night (4593) Bad night (1846) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

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(727): there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6rsw

Replies (17) Good night (3780) Bad night (1733) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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(937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr

Replies (11) Good night (2326) Bad night (1465) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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(412): Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after http://tfl.nu/0llh

Replies (11) Good night (4423) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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(607): you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship http://tfl.nu/e8ub

Replies (5) Good night (1909) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?

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(604): True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame? http://tfl.nu/gz7a

Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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(434): View more from Virginia

do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

(540): View more from Virginia

yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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(434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli

Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (276)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face

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(571): I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face http://tfl.nu/0ur8

Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt

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