There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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