areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down