Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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