Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
