problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize