When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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