were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
