i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
