now i know why i became what i already was.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
