You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
