just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Randomize
