DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
