Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
soo... how was my night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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