so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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