I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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