Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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