I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
