i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
