Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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