what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
