Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
