I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
