You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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