Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
