I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
