I cockslap morals
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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