Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
