i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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