my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
