Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
