I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
