I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
