what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
