He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This girl is more easily done than said...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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