Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
