I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my sisters under your porch take her home
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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