My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
