So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
