someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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