Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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