Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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