Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
