Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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