I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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