I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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