I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
