lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
