that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
