My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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