Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
