I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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