i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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