worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
