Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
