Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
honey bunches of taint.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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