it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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