i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We are all done wearing pants today
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
