what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize